The Flying Kipper Returns (You Shouldn't Change This, Either!)
The Flying Kipper Returns! … The Flying Kipper was, at least for some Sodor residents, infamous for its foul-smelling fish. James became known for a hilarious incident when the fish fell right on top of him! Everyone broke into laughter when that happened---and that made James cross! He had to be washed off later on. The sun rose one fine morning on the Island of Sodor. James was, surprisingly, the only engine at Tidmouth Sheds. Everyone else, he suspected, must have gone off somewhere else to rest. That didn’t bother him, though, because he didn’t want to be teased like he did when he delivered the Flying Kipper again. Sir Topham Hatt’s car pulled up. Sir Topham Hatt and his two close friends---two identical officers donning blue clothing---strutted up to the still-sleeping red engine. ‘’James. Wake up,’’ the Fat Controller instructed. James obeyed. ‘’Sir?’’ he inquired. ‘’Yeah, it’s me,’’ replied Sir Topham Hatt. ‘’Listen, I’ve got an important job for you….’’ Not the Flying Kipper! Not the Flying Kipper! James thought. I don’t want to be covered with bad-smelling fish! I just can’t bear it! ‘’…and that is,’’ Sir Topham Hatt added, with his hands behind his back, ‘’to deliver the Flying Kipper---again.’’ James’ eyes popped open. ‘’You’re kidding!’’ he whistled with disbelief. ‘’I’m not,’’ Sir Topham Hatt said, shaking his head. Now he had his hands to his front. ‘’You did a bad job delivering it last time….’’ ‘’It wasn’t my fault!’’ wheeshed James. ‘’The Troublesome Trucks kept saying to me, ‘James is afraid of the smelly fish!’’’ ‘’Don’t mind them,’’ the Fat Controller cautioned. ‘’They’re enemies.’’ ‘’So?’’ asked the red engine, scoffing. ‘’So, you mustn’t take control of what they do,’’ Sir Topham Hatt explained. ‘’Sir Topham Hatt! We don’t want any---‘’ James was interrupted by a gasp from the Fat Controller. For the first time of his life, Sir Topham Hatt heard his name from an engine! All those other times, the engines just simply called him ‘’sir’’. It was exhilarating to hear his full name actually being pronounced by someone! ‘’You called me ‘Sir Topham Hatt’!’’ Sir Topham Hatt cried. ‘’Because that’s your name,’’ said James. ‘’What is wrong with that?’’ ‘’No one, absolutely no one, called me Sir Topham Hatt,’’ the Fat Controller admitted. ‘’At least, no engine ever did.’’ ‘’Well, ta-da! I said it!’’ James said with a laugh. ‘’But I NEVER heard ‘the Fat Controller’.’’ ‘’Oh, flatten my funnel, I forgot about that! The Fat Controller!’’ ‘’That’s my alternate name,’’ the black-and-yellow-suited man clarified. ‘’Have you ever heard of Mr. Percival?’’ James asked. ‘’No.’’ ‘’Why not?’’ the red engine asked skeptically. ‘’I’m sure you heard of him.’’ ‘’Does he have an alternate name, too?’’ Sir Topham Hatt wondered. ‘’Yeah! The Thin Controller!’’ James blurted out. ‘’Well, unbutton my buttons!’’ exclaimed the Fat Controller. ‘’That’s amazing!’’ ‘’Can your friends talk?’’ James added. ‘’We can!’’ Sir Topham Hatt’s friends said. ‘’Yes, yes, but they rarely talk,’’ confirmed Sir Topham Hatt to James. ‘’How come?’’ inquired the red engine. ‘’Because they prefer to let me take control.’’ ‘’Wow, such an amazing thing!’’ ‘’Anyway, James,’’ Sir Topham Hatt said, getting back on topic, ‘’your job is to deliver the Flying Kipper again.’’ ‘’I know!’’ huffed James. ‘’So annoying!’’ ‘’You still have to do it,’’ Sir Topham Hatt ordered. ‘’I am Master of the Railway!’’ ‘’I understand completely, sir,’’ James answered. ‘’Good-bye!’’ ‘’Bye!’’ one of Sir Topham Hatt’s friends said, waving. James smiled and whistled, then got on the turntable and chugged off. ‘’Caught me off-guard there,’’ the Fat Controller marveled. ‘’Because,’’ the friend that had just spoken explained, ‘’it feels good to talk every once in a while!’’ ‘’Hmm. Yeah, but…I’ve never heard you talk.’’ ‘’This is probably our first time,’’ Sir Topham Hatt’s other friend replied. ‘’Friends, now we must head to breakfast,’’ Sir Topham Hatt instructed. ‘’With pleasure,’’ both of his friends responded simultaneously. And with that, they hopped in the car, and Sir Topham Hatt drove off. … On his way to Brendam Docks---where he was supposed to pick up the Flying Kipper---James spotted Charlie at a distance. Charlie was a purple engine known for his jokes and constant mischief. In fact, Charlie was probably the most mischievous---and jovial---engine on the Island of Sodor! Now, Charlie was telling jokes to his friend Thomas. ‘’I know one!’’ Charlie said. ‘’What did the man say when he got distracted controlling the railway?’’ ‘’I don’t know,’’ Thomas answered. ‘’What?’’ ‘’’Oops, I gotta keep track!’’’ Charlie grinned. Then he and Thomas exploded with laughter. The more they laughed, the more James got enraged. Finally, James’ anger level rose to the very top and he bashed Charlie very, very, very hard. Charlie derailed and landed on the grass. ‘’That’s what you get!’’ James yelled. ‘’James! That was not okay!’’ Thomas scolded. ‘’Charlie is just too jokey,’’ James grumbled. ‘’Why can’t he be more serious, like Cranky?’’ ‘’All vehicles are different,’’ Thomas explained. ‘’I can’t stand the laughter today, because I’m probably going to be laughed AT when I go to Brendam Docks!’’ James whooshed angrily. ‘’To pick up the Flying Kipper! AGAIN!!!’’ Thomas snickered. ‘’Don’t you laugh!’’ James warned. Thomas recovered. ‘’All right, all right, all right,’’ the blue engine agreed. ‘’Sorry. I’ve laughed enough already.’’ ‘’THAT’S GOOD, BECAUSE CHARLIE IS GOING TO HAVE A HARD TIME GETTING BACK ON TRACK!’’ James howled. ‘’I heard that!’’ called Charlie. James ignored the purple engine and snorted away. … When he arrived at Brendam Docks, just as he expected, James saw the Flying Kipper dangling above Cranky the Crane’s arm. And, like last time, the Troublesome Trucks came to taunt James about the fish. As they repeated their ‘afraid of the smelly fish’ phrase, James silently fumed. He had had enough. Besides, why should he bash the Troublesome Trucks when he already biffed Charlie? Two times, he decided, was too risky. The Troublesome Trucks chanted and chanted and chanted as James waited for the moment. When he felt the fish start to fall, James suddenly smirked smugly. He moved out of the way. The Troublesome Trucks suddenly stopped chanting. ‘’James!’’ they called. ‘’Where are you going? We want to see you get covered up again!’’ ‘’Don’t bother,’’ Cranky cranked. ‘’I was careless last time.’’ ‘’You were?’’ one of the Troublesome Trucks asked with bewilderment. ‘’Yeah,’’ Cranky admitted. ‘’Now, I’m hoping I don’t mess up again….’’ The Troublesome Trucks didn’t know what to say next. Then, finally, one of the trucks had something to say. ‘’He messed up!’’ the truck announced. ‘’Cranky messed up!’’ another truck cried. They laughed and started a new chant. ‘’Cranky messed up! Cranky messed up! Cranky messed up!’’ James smiled, because now the chant was aimed at Cranky, not him. What luck! the red engine thought. He couldn’t stop smiling as he listened to the Troublesome Trucks’ chant, ‘’Cranky messed up! Cranky messed up!’’ Now it was Cranky’s turn to get angry. He dumped the fish…right on top of the Troublesome Trucks! If the Troublesome Trucks didn’t tease James last time, they wouldn’t know how bad the fish smelled. But now they did. It smelled to them like garbage. ‘’Eeeh!’’ the Troublesome Trucks cried with disgust. James laughed. The Troublesome Trucks had been tricked! They went away, crying out that the fish smelled bad. ‘’Great job, Cranky, for scaring the Troublesome Trucks,’’ James said. ‘’That ain’t all of the fish,’’ Cranky reported. James was worried. ‘’Don’t worry,’’ Cranky assured him. ‘’I won’t mess up this time.’’ James sighed with relief. After getting a new Flying Kipper, Cranky slowly lowered it onto James’ flatbed. James felt proud, because unlike last time, he didn’t get covered up by the smelly fish! He wheeshed away happily. … When he arrived with the Flying Kipper, Sir Topham Hatt and his usually silent friends were waiting. ‘’Great job, James,’’ Sir Topham Hatt praised. Wow! the red engine thought. I wasn’t late! I thought I was going to be, but I’m not! Hooray! After more praise from Sir Topham Hatt, James happily wheeshed off. That was, until he saw---Bash, Dash, and Ferdinand! Like Charlie, the threesome was known to constantly joke and be playful. Plus, Bash and Dash almost always finished each other’s sentences. Ferdinand accompanied this with a ‘’That’s right!’’. Said phrase was a favorite to Ferdinand, and despite its overuse, the engines were used to it. Sometimes engines wondered if Ferdinand always said ‘’That’s right!’’, but no---he did say other things here and there. Bash, Dash, and Ferdinand had come to mockingly admire James’ successful Flying Kipper delivery. James felt like he was going to feel his inner rage boil again if they laughed. ‘’For once, James, you delivered the Flying Kipper with no trouble at all!’’ Bash said. ‘’And for once, you didn’t smell!’’ Dash added. James drowned out their hysterical laughter by blowing a deafening whistle. ‘’Of course I didn’t smell, fools!’’ James retorted. ‘’I never smelled! Now, don’t tease me!’’ ‘’No---‘’ Bash began. ‘’---problem, James,’’ Dash finished. To which Ferdinand replied, ‘’That’s right!’’ ‘’You know what, I think James really isn’t liking engines laughing today,’’ said Bash as they chuffed away. ‘’I wonder why?’’ ‘’Maybe because he’s thinking of what happened last time,’’ Dash predicted. ‘’He didn’t like that.’’ ‘’True, but this time, he did it!’’ Ferdinand answered. ‘’He successfully delivered the Flying Kipper! That makes him a Really Useful engine!’’ ‘’We’re really useless engines,’’ Dash muttered. ‘’Dash!’’ Bash cried. ‘’What is the point of being Really Useful when you just have fun?’’ Dash pointed out. ‘’You may have a point,’’ Bash agreed. Then they completely disappeared. ‘’Wow…that was…slow,’’ chuckled James. Since the conversation would already fade once Bash, Dash, and Ferdinand disappeared, he figured they chugged away really slowly. But the important thing was, he got the Flying Kipper delivered on time! He was very happy about that. … The next day, Sir Topham Hatt drove by the spot where James had derailed Charlie. That was when he spotted the bruised and battered purple engine on the grass. Surprised, mouth agape, the Fat Controller got out of his car with his silent companions. ‘’Charlie, who derailed you?’’ the Fat Controller exclaimed. ‘’James did!’’ Charlie replied. ‘’I was telling a joke to Thomas, and he made me go off the rails!’’ ‘’I ought to talk to James about that!’’ replied Sir Topham Hatt bitterly. It took a few hours, but finally, Charlie was back on the rails. He had to go see the mechanic. James was back at Tidmouth Sheds, Sir Topham Hatt figured. So he drove there in his classy blue car, with his friends, of course. When Sir Topham Hatt got out of the car, he started to lecture. ‘’James! Charlie has the right to tell jokes! Just because he’s laughing, doesn’t mean you can be mean to him! If you’re mean to anyone ever again, I will consider locking you in the Shed for a whole night!’’ James was shocked! The Fat Controller was famous for locking up naughty engines in the Shed. Surely, James didn’t want to go there, because, after all, he was in a bad mood yesterday! He didn’t say that oud loud, though---he didn’t want Sir Topham Hatt to be more cross than he was now. Later, Old Puffer Pete came round to meet James. He was from Chuggington, a city filled with talking trains. Old Puffer Pete also had a very funny-sounding whistle---like someone passing gas. Plus, it sounded like a tractor from the movie Cars while it was being tipped. Without a doubt, those two sounds were the same. Old Puffer Pete didn’t know that James had been lectured by Sir Topham Hatt. ‘’Uh, James?’’ Old Puffer Pete asked. James looked up. ‘’Good morning,’’ he said. ‘’It’s afternoon, James!’’ Old Puffer Pete explained. ‘’Don’t you see the time? It’s 2:00.’’ ‘’Right,’’ James replied, after glancing at the clock. ‘’Sorry.’’ ‘’No problem at all,’’ Old Puffer Pete answered. ‘’Now do you want to hear my amusing train whistle?’’ ‘’Wilson, Koko, and Brewster aren’t going to come, would they?’’ James inquired. You see, Koko, Brewster, and Wilson always laughed at Old Puffer Pete’s whistle, for some reason. ‘’No, no,’’ Old Puffer Pete told James honestly. ‘’I just came here by myself to show you what it sounded like.’’ And with that, Old Puffer Pete did his whistle. ‘’PFFFFTH!’’ It really DID sound like passing gas! ‘’Ugh, did someone---‘’ James began to ask. ‘’No one passed gas, it’s only me,’’ Old Puffer Pete said quickly. Then he did his funny whistle again. And again. And again! ‘’It smells!’’ the red engine blurted out. ‘’Does not!’’ Old Puffer Pete protested. ‘’It sounds so realistic!’’ James confessed. ‘’Oh,’’ chuckled Old Puffer Pete. ‘’Well, I’m old, and, after all, older trains have stranger train whistles.’’ With that, he emitted his funny-sounding train whistle anew. ‘’Again!’’ James cried. ‘’You might be attracting Wilson, Koko, and Brewster!’’ ‘’Nonsense,’’ said Old Puffer Pete, and did his whistle again. ‘’I can feel---‘’ James started. ‘’No, no, that’s weird,’’ Old Puffer Pete said. ‘’That sound is only me.’’ ‘’Thank you!’’ James cried. He suddenly realized it really was Old Puffer Pete making the passing gas sound! And it really wasn’t anything else but him. ‘’You like it?’’ Old Puffer Pete asked, excited. ‘’I’ll do it again!’’ The funny-sounding train whistle was heard again. James laughed. Now he was really enjoying it! He exited Tidmouth Sheds, and went with Old Puffer Pete. Maybe, James thought, I can fool Bash, Dash, and Ferdinand by making them think that someone is passing gas! Then, they won’t feel like joking anymore! Sure enough, James and Old Puffer Pete came across three trains. But to James’ surprise, it wasn’t Bash, Dash, and Ferdinand at all! It was Koko, Brewster, and Wilson. ‘’We heard the news that you delivered the Flying Kipper,’’ Koko said. ‘’Traintastic job!’’ ‘’Yeah,’’ Wilson agreed. ‘’What she said.’’ ‘’No problem,’’ James said, blushing. He was praised sincerely this time! It felt good. Fish randomly fell from the sky and landed on Wilson, Koko, and Brewster! ‘’Where did that come from?’’ Brewster asked. ‘’Oh!’’ James cried. Now Koko, Brewster, and Wilson were covered with fish! He couldn’t help but grin. Two times he had seen anyone but himself get covered up by some smelly fish. Ha ha! thought the red engine. Whoever did this got you all good! ‘’We smell!’’ Koko cried. ‘’Get to the washdown, everyone!’’ Wilson shouted. And all three trainees quickly raced away. ‘’Poor things,’’ said Old Puffer Pete. ‘’Are you kidding?’’ asked James. ‘’Now I’m not getting covered up in fish! If that isn’t most pleasant, I don’t know what is.’’ THE END Category:Changes Not Accepted!